T r i n a W o n g

Entries from November 2007

A Flavour of Famine

November 29, 2007 · 2 Comments

The moment I laid eyes on the tiny bone thin body with the vulture hovering at back*, my blood froze & tears started streaming uncontrollably down my face. I was 14 of age.

 

That week, I suddenly cried for no apparent reason. My parents figured there was something deeply wrong with me.

 

For quite a while, the mere word ‘Africa’ was like a piercing cold blade through my heart.

 

How could such a thing exist?

 

We have the technology and know-how to send people to the moon, but we can allow a child to starve to death. How can that be??

 

How many days, weeks, months(!) has this baby girl gone without food? How can I take another bite knowing someone else needed it so much more??

 

Imagine the amount of energy spent on deceit and lies every day around the world.

 

Now, imagine re-directing that same energy to feeding the starving kids of Africa.

 

I was surprised when a friend I admired first started to express hopelessness. He is a globe trotter and a soon-to-be pilot. A refined and very well read young man that I respect both for his knowledge and powers of deduction.

 

His advise,

 

“I don’t know…it is a good cause…but there’re just too many problems with africa..”

 

“other than famine, malaria, aids…civil war”

 

My response,

 

“so we need good health care”

 

“we need to bring down the head”

 

“what else?”

 

“Stop arms trafficking”

 

“it’s just too much, and all of these contribute to one big prob…”

 

“even if you try to help out one small group of starving kids, more are being killed in tribal strive/so forth”

 

”you’re suggesting dont start?”

 

”sounds too hopeless i guess”

 

”no it is your choice to do what you feel is best”

 

“u mean no one has started??”

 

well, Everyone tries…..and of course everyone is doing something…”

 

“but?”

 

”but i’m just saying that the african situation is  qutie hopeless…i dunno”

 

“well .. isn’t hopeless just in the mind?”

 

cant we break it down and tackle it one by one”

 

”yeah you’re right on that..”

 

And here’s where the magic begins =) . His knowledge sharing starts flowing and I’ve gained more strength from his once again. 

 

“well, oprah is already starting some elite school for africans i read somewhere, so maybe these kids can effect some change.”

 

”so she has that part taken care of “

 

“one down”

 

“whats nxt?”

 

”bill gates is the largest donor to AIDS research so that’s next”

 

”and Trina WOng will be tackling famine sometime in the near future..”

 

hahahah .. u got that right boy!”

 

“can u fly me there?”

 

“maybe fly some food cargos for me?“

 

“i wanna teach them grow their own food .. and cook”

 

“i loooove cooking!”

 

”yeah but before you teach them, u better find a way to water yr crops…with all the drought going on…”

 

”maybe you could fund genetically modified food research”

 

”yeah … i hv to think of the most elaborate water irrigation system ever”

 

“and something more advanced then hydroponic foods”

 

 

 

* Source: The death of Kevin Carter and one indelible image

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2006/0

Categories: Uncategorized

Life is Perfect

November 28, 2007 · 1 Comment

Perfection is in the cycle of things. It is perfect that when society isn’t supporting itself holistically, it purges out a begger on the streets. And when there is a begger on the streets, an activist or humanitarian walks by, and his anger is sparked. An activist writer pours out provoking words to wake others up, and this breeds outrage in society to correct what triggered the begger on the streets.

This is perfection. The cycle is perfect.

Life is as its meant to be – a perfect cycle.

Some even say that disease, poverty and famine is part of this perfection. Hunger and illness can bring out magic.

“i suffer from NF, but it is in no way better or worse than the common flu” – Yvonne Foong, http://www.yvonnefoong.com/about-the-author/

———- Forwarded message ———-
From:
Yvonne Foong <yvonnefmn@gmail.com >
Date:
29 Sep 2007 14:32
Subject: Chat with Yvonne Foong
To:
wong.trina@gmail.com

13:39 me: hi yvonne :)

Yvonne: hello trina

me: r we really meeting tomorrow? :D

Yvonne: hehe yes we are

13:40 me: i hv an odd question

Yvonne: yes?

13:41 me: well, my friend’s cousin sister is in the hospital

she has yet another relapse from multiple sclerosis

her eyesight is almost gone

she’s fading everyday

how does one deal with this?

13:42 sorry :) .. its okay if there is no answer

13:43 Yvonne: well, I have come to learn something from my own experience

basically, it boils down to the purpose of life

you might ask what is the use of her living if she is deteriorating at such a rate

me: i told my friend, if it were me, i’d be figuring a way out of life

not as much for me, but for the ppl around me

13:45 loved ones to let go and move on with their lives

13:44 Yvonne: recently, i asked the exact same thing to my friend, when i read about the condition of people in a nation where the soviet union once tested their nuclear weapons. now many years have passed, the people who saw the nuclear activity were severely affected, their DNA mutated. now babies are born totally deformed

13:46 and i was sad. i believed everyone should have the capability to learn and grow spiritually and to know God through thinking and reasoning, and investigation of truth. but these babies who are so deformed does not even have the faculty of logic. how then, can they attain the presence of God?

me: exactly. this lady is the mother of 2 toddlers. her kids will see her suffer everyday.

her husband sits beside her and she wont even know it cos she cant see

13:47 Yvonne: we were at the college cafeteria. my friend stood up and fetched a small milk jar and placed it next to my mineral water bottle

Yvonne: the water in my bottle was half empty. the jar was smaller but full

Yvonne: my friend then asked me, assuming the jar is full, which container do u think fulfilled it’s purspoe? i said the jar, even though the water bottle has more water. but the latter has not fulfilled it’s capacity

13:48 we are often frustrated by our conditions, thinking there are so many things we could be doing if not for our conditions

13:49 even thoug your friend’s body is degenerating, her purpose is different from ours.

me: if her condition stabalized .. she can still try and find some purpose with what she has

but shes still going for blood transfusionn

13:50 its hard to find a purpose, when you don’t know what you’re capable of .. in a few mths, she could be bed ridden

paralysed

Yvonne: i see where you are coming from

13:51 half an hour ago, john ling and i were chatting about suffering. we agreed that suffering is a state of being.

you see, our perception of the world is learned

me: i told my friends .. if something like that happened to me, pls tell my parents to let me go

Yvonne: at a young age, we are taught and conditioned to feel happiness, how to respond to happiness, how to respond to pain

me: life is not worth living in pain

13:52 Yvonne: but this conditioning is worldly standard. maybe 1,000 years from now, men would perceive pain as joyful.

me: well, in the natural order of things

we’d hv been eaten by animals

13:53 Yvonne: in our culture, some religious people see piercing as self-mutilation, another culture see it as an art and hobby

me: don’t think we’re meant to live with such physical weaknesses

Yvonne: why not?

me: by the natural world

13:54 we’d hv been eaten by wild animals

13:55 mother nature would hv decided for us .. but i guess human intellect makes things a little complcating

13:56 Yvonne: trina dear…

i imagine that if you say the above to your friend, she would feel terrible and sinful.

13:57 me : of course i did not :D

in no way was i suggesting that she let go

but if it were me

i’d want lives to move on without me

loved ones will hurt for a few years

but they will heal

and move on

13:58 Yvonne: Ok let me share something ya

me: kays

Yvonne: in november 2005, I comtemplated a great deal whether I should rest my case in God’s hand or should i sell t-shirts to raise funds for surgery

13:59 i went as far as to see many confirmation from friends and blog readers

in the end i decided to sell shirts for surgery

many people brought me to healing rallies hoping God would heal me mirauclously, but He didn’t. I accepted it and worked hard for surgery

14:00 in the process, i was invited to give talks to many people, college students, kindergarten kids, MIC youth, i even spoke at stadium putra

Yvonne: throughout my fundraising, it was very trying and tiring. i broke down many times. but whenever i go out there, i meet people who were touched and inspired by me

14:01 especially when i spoke to children, they look up to me with such innocent eyes, i praise God that even though it was trying and suffering, my trials touched and inspird many people

God could have healed me so i didnt have to go through so much, but He didn’t.

through my suffering, many lives were changed

14:02 even though your friend is suffering now, but as human beings, we can never know God

s plan and purpose

me: thank u :)

14:03 Yvonne: in the end, through the help of the public who believed in my cause, God let me raise RM230, 000.00 for aq brain surgery in the U.S

I went for that surgery last October

me: only on T-Shirts?

wow

14:04 Yvonne: my efforts include selling t-shirts and later, handmade accessories. there were also donations. because i first helped myself, people came forth to give me a hand too.

one company organised a dinner and raised RM30,000.00 for me

14:05 later, dr. lee hwa beng organized a gold tournament. someone said dr. lee doesn’t help just anyone because there is only so much he can do. but he saw that i was helping myself, so he picked up my cause

but my point is, trina, suffering serves it’s purpose.

suffering is necessary for us to know God

14:06 human beings are in a constant state of learning, suffering helps us see things better

and one person’s suffering is different from another

we cannot compare. i suffer from NF, but it is in no way better or worse than the common flu

14:07 me: agreed

Yvonne: for there are some people who learn little from lifelong suffering, some people learn a lot from a mere knock in the head

14:08 me : u r amazing

14:09 u reminded me that all things r meant to be

there is a reason

Yvonne: and like my parable of the water bottle and the jar, different people have different purpose. suffering is not the right measure of a person’s life. your friend may be suffering now, but the jewels she gain will far outweigh her loss. she may not see it now, but it will happen

me: thank u yvonne

14:10 pain has the ability to make us strong and soft at the same time

14:11 Yvonne: Your welcome. =) Love is always the most powerful.

suffering is only a condition that will pass

me: how do u describe love?

what is love?

14:13 Yvonne: nowadays, a lot of my friends are living in different countries. but when i meet them occasionally, i feel connected to them

the same happens when i meet people who came forth to help me raise funds last year

i still keep in touch with them. but we have our own struggles, and they seldom contact me these days

but when they do, when i see them , i feel a special kinship

as if i have known them for a very long time

14:14 i think love is when you feel another person as a part of yourself

me: thats a very nice definition

14:15 Yvonne: when we put God in our hearts, we feel glad at all times. that’s when we feel everyone is connected and made of the same clay

14:16 me : can i share yr story with my friend? :)

Yvonne: of course, you may.

did you know i published a book?

you might want to read it to her

me: u mentioned :)

in the email

14:17 Yvonne: Thanks for giving me the chance to chat and talk about this

I’m feeling so grateful now

me: no, thank you

14:18 Yvonne: and I am excited about your friend, knowing that her suffering may cause her to attain much more than she is losing

me: she’s not feeling that strong at the moment

but i’d like to share yr strength with her

Yvonne: I will be praying for her

what is her name?

14:19 me: my friend is Yan Jin

i don’t know her cousin sister’s name

Yvonne: okay. I will keep Yan Jin in my heart

eh sorry

her cousin sister

me: thank u :)

Yvonne: =)

me: and u hv touched mine even before this

14:20 yes, it is her cousin sister with the illness .. Yan Jin visits her everyday

Yvonne: Oh, where is the cousin warded?

me: UH

Yvonne: do you think she will appreciate my visit?

14:21 my grandma’s house ins in PJ old town. so i might ask mom to drop ome off in UH while she goes to granny’s house for some chores

me: she may not be christian

Yvonne: oh, I’m not preachy. :P

me: but its so kind of u to offer

:D

but thinking different mah

Yvonne: actually…. I am a Baha’i

14:22 I believe all religions are one

me: so do i :)

all rivers lead to the same ocean

14:23 i was s amazed by Yan Jin’s positivty and resolve .. she goes in every night with 1 resolve – to make her cousin sister laugh

Yvonne: Buddhists trive for the attainment of Bodhi. we must learn the current religion teachings available, and use the knowledge to purify our body and mind. that is said to be the state of Bodhi.

me: but i know she’s tearing up inside

14:24 Yvonne: i understand, your cousin sister sounds very matured

how old is she?

14:25 me: Yan Jin’s cousin sister :)

early 30s

Yan Jin is my x-colleague

and an amazing friend

Yvonne: I think she is matured to do that for her cousin

me: very .. and very strong

Yvonne: because I have friend who are 29, 30, 35. yet many do not know how to respond in such situations

14:26 me : yan jin is 29

she goes in every night with a smile and a cheery laugh

many others just goes in and sobs

Yvonne: i know…. a lot of people view suffering as a curse

14:27 me : so does yan jin .. and i think she will still for quite a while

Yvonne: and when they see it befalling other people, they respond apathetically as if they were the ones suffering!

so i think it’s important we remind each other what i just told u

me: exactly :)

Yvonne: it transcends religion

me: and u reminded me really well

14:28 thank you

Yvonne: your welcome. anytime if yan jin’s cousin welcomes me, just let me know. i won’t go to her with the bible. :P

14:29 me: hahaha .. you’re such a gem :D

Yvonne: it’s ok. i understand because saying “the lord is your savior” sounds so self-righteous and fanatic especially people already suffering and in pain

me: :)

thank you so much Yvonne

14:30 you’ve given me such strength

no words can express it

14:31 Yvonne: thank you too. =) we are sisters, aren’t we?

me: haha .. but of course!

see you tomorrow :)

14:32 Yvonne: alright.l God bless


And lastly, I would like to share the wisdom of David Anttony and Masami Sato

PERFECTION

By David Anttony

Imagine if you could wake up tomorrow morning and that imaginary dial inside your head that says that things you do not like as well as the things that you like are all suddenly perfect.

Imagine that when you wake up tomorrow your ‘perfection dial’ has been reset so that it no longer points to the right or the left but to the centre. The right of your dial of course representing your old world-view of perfection which you associated with happiness and what was right, and the left side imperfection, associated with unhappiness, sadness and what was wrong.

You can start imagining now when you wake up in your new tomorrow what your world would look like if you no longer judged things as right and wrong, good and bad, perfect and imperfect, just and unjust. You can imagine today that in your new tomorrow things just become what they are without judgement.

Your new tomorrow world will initially probably feel strange and maybe somewhat confusing because by removing the split in your focus you will move from separation to unity and from struggle to acceptance. Overnight everything would become perfect. When you wake up in your new tomorrow war is perfect, peace is perfect, life is perfect, death is perfect, Christianity is perfect, Hinduism is perfect, sex is perfect, no sex is perfect, anger is perfect, patience is perfect, intolerance is perfect, tolerance is perfect, dishonesty is perfect, honesty is perfect, murder is perfect, lack of murder is perfect, destroying the environment is perfect, saving the environment is perfect.

Can you see that initially your world may become a little confusing for a while as your brain and emotions re-adjust to a new way of being, doing and thinking.

The trick to living in your new world tomorrow would be that you would have to focus your mind, retune it if you like, to look for the perfection. You will need to choose to see life from a different perspective. Depending on the perspective you choose you will find the perfection. If you are not seeing perfection change your perspective. So if you see trees being destroyed and this makes you feel angry why not choose to see the world from outer space! From outer space all you can see is the beauty of the planet. Now if you feel that would be denying what is happening on our planet come back to earth with your focus, choose to be happy and accept what is and start planting trees, but do not feel angry about those chopping them down. Ghandi did not transform India by getting angry and fighting. He took the conviction of his heart and united the Indian nation by creating unity through the simple actions of weaving, walking and talking. What we fight persists and what we focus on exists.

Six months ago I woke up in my new tomorrow. The experiential gift that allowed me to open up a new doorway in my life, the doorway of singularity instead of duality, was when my wife Masami of seven years shared with me that she wanted to change or relationship. Masami wanted to share her sexuality and a large part of her life with another man and she no longer wished to share her sexuality with me. My initial ‘reaction’ was sadness, loss and pain until I decided to ‘look under the rock’ of this experiential gift and see what blessing lay waiting for me. When I looked under the rock I saw an exciting world, a world where the love Masami and I share was as strong as ever; the caring and love for our children was unfaulted; our businesses were stronger and I had the opportunity to be more of me and stand in my own light. I could now experience what ever I felt without being bound by a monogamous marriage relationship. Wow I was in a new world!

Today I wake up in my new tomorrow each and every day. Some days I wake up in duality and I quickly refocus my sight on singularity before I enter the day. Sometimes during the day I ‘forget’ about my focus choice and when someone does something I find uncomfortable I may react with anger. However, within a few minutes I remind myself of my choice of focus and start looking for the gift in the experience. Almost all the time now the gift is easy to find because it is the same gift each and every time – to remember the singularity and the perfection.

The singularity is the only place where you can find peace and total joy because it is the only place true love exists. Masami Sato puts this concept into a most beautiful and simple form. She calls this the gift of acceptance trust and love. Her book titled, “JOY the gift of acceptance, trust and love” is a divine gift that reminds us of the simplicity and deep truth about life. Each and every day I choose to embody the depth of wisdom that shines out of this book and because of this choice my life is becoming a living body of magic.

When we let go of a dual focus we remove a huge stress from our lives and we regain a boundless energy and a deep sense of joy. We can suddenly start to flow our lives in the most magical of ways because we are no longer trying to move in a single direction while being pulled in another at the same time like trying to swim upriver and down river at the same time! Instead we can allow the natural flow of life to unravel the perfection in front of our very eyes.

Categories: Uncategorized

Selling Sex

November 28, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Is sex something to be ashamed of? Something to hide?

 

How else can one explain educated married Singaporeans having sex for over 10 years, was unable to conceive, seeking a Doctors advise, only to find that the reason they couldn’t get pregnant is because the wife was still a virgin?*

 

How has sex become such a taboo subject?

 

Why is sex so ‘bad’?

 

A really good Thai friend of mine from Bangkok expressed sadness and was ashamed that a large number of Thai women were making prostitution a career. To this I say, it is naive to think that we have jobs more dignified then the prostitutes on Bangkok’s streets. We are always exchanging money with our bodies and minds. Prostitutes just maximize a different body part for more money. It is society who dictates that selling sex is bad. But how do you define selling bodily pleasures as something bad? Spas are bodily pleasures too. Should massages be forbidden? Perhaps long ago when women wore corsets or when virgins were placed under locks, it would have been deemed shameful to sell massages.

 

It is an instinctive reaction of a woman – meaning i would be instinctively embarrassed if Malaysia was renowned for the female flesh trade, but when you think about it, the girls are offering nothing more then what the men want. If its not in the official streets of Bangkok, the men will go elsewhere. So why not Thailand? Or Malaysia, or Indonesia, or Philippines.

 

In fact, the women of Bangkok could be providing a greater service which a ‘dignified’ and ‘cultured’ society may not want to acknowledge. By providing a means of release for our men, they could have just helped us curb rape and molestation. Not just for women, but for our children too.

 

I am not condoning the sex trade, but neither do I condemn these women for what they do. They are just filling in a need and fulfilling their own need for survival. Unless of course we can give them other means that can provide them a relatively comfortable life. I can’t imagine any woman enjoying servicing men like that, but it is a job that pays well. If given an option, i would like to think most women would choose self-respect. There is only so much of your body and mind you can sell.

 

Most of us choose to sell more of our minds. And yes, some sell our bodies – models, beauticians, prostitutes, fitness instructors. And there are those who have gone so far as to sell their souls for a good sum of money. Which is worse? You decide.

 


*Source: Singaporeans Blur on Sex – Many have to seek bedroom advice.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/10/30/nation/19315645&sec=nation

Categories: Uncategorized

Lead Your Life

November 28, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Some say more than 90% of the people in the world do not really know what they want in their lives – 90% of lambs and sheep without focus. These lambs and sheep are guided by the things around them, possibly controlled by the 10%.

 

People who know what they want are the ones with the power. They are clear with their vision and direction. Those without direction, seek these powerful individuals out to follow. The sad part is, inside everyone, is a hidden leader. Everyone has their own direction. So, with time, the frustration builds. Some follow still, not knowing or ever wanting to know themselves and what their directions are, because with direction and power comes responsibility. They fear making mistakes and appearing foolish, so they follow. They follow because, then, it will never be their fault. At work its managements fault, its my boss. At home, it’s because of my family, its my parents, my husband, my wife, or my kids who holds me back. It’s because of everyone else. They fear change. They fear getting to know themselves and lead their own lives .. to find out their direction and purpose in life.

 

Everyone has one – a direction. Everyone has a purpose.

 

Seek yours out. Lead your life. Never be lead by it.

Never work just because you have to. If you do, life will be a struggle. It isn’t as difficult as you think. We make it difficult. We tie ourselves down with commitments. We fear what others think – family, friends.

 

You can try to psyche yourself to enjoy the work, but you can only bluff yourself for so long. You cannot hide what you truly feel. If the feelings are not true, you will never be really happy.

 

I’m not referring to self improvement. If you find a weakness in yourself and want to improve, great. It may be a struggle, but it’s for a purpose.

 

What drives you on a daily basis? At work, you go into the office – bored, sleepy, tired. Day after day, you drag yourself out of bed. Groggily get into your car and enter your work place in a zombie-fied state. Some people can live like that. Day after day … sleepy.

 

“Life’s like that”, we tell ourselves.

 

You can MAKE yourself happy. “Its all about perception”, you tell yourself.

 

Yes, you can hoodwink and make yourself happy. But is it true happiness? With true happiness, there’s a hidden drive. An energy field that pushes you forward because it is something you WANT to do, not HAVE to do. In fact, you may start pushing others and wonder why they’re moving at such a placid pace, why they aren’t as psyched up as you about the projects at hand. You may even find that the people around lacks passion and drive. You may eventually get frustrated at the lack of drive in others and feel alone. After all, you are the few 10% on the planet.

 

It is different. When you love your work, the drive will be different.

 

If you have to make yourself happy everyday, it is just an illusion.

 

Can we get what we want? Can we be really happy?

 

It could be just a matter of how hard we’re willing to work for it and what we’re willing to sacrifice. You have to know what you want and also understand, that what you want changes. Once you have what you were driven to get, you may see more. You may want to take it further. And with your new found experience, you CAN achieve more. This isn’t just life. This is living. Desire drives you.

 

Let passion push you.

 

Lead your life.

 

 
?????????? ??????? (6 ????)

?????????? ??????? (6 ????)


?????????? ??????? (6 ????)


?????????? ??????? (6 ????)


?????????? ??????? (6 ????)


?????????? ??????? (6 ????)

Categories: Uncategorized